Watch out when someone keeps saying “I am going to be honest with you.”

Now I am being really really honest!

Now I am being really really honest!

Have you noticed certain people you know always qualifying their conversation with the dreaded words “I am being honest with you” or other similar derivatives?

I have actually studied this for years and found out that the extreme majority of people who qualify their statements are generally very dishonest.

It is one thing to say those words once in a ‘blue moon’ as it has become somewhat of a cliché.  However, the overuse of this qualifier should make you feel very concerned about the sincerity of their statements prior to using that phrase.

Am I suppose to understand that everything a person said prior to “I am going to be honest with you” was bull crap?  Ah…now I understand, you have been lying to me like a pathological manipulator and now I am going to get the ‘real’ truth.  That clears things up!

Now I understand that people say this qualifier to make an emphasis on a point.  However, you do not have to say that you are being “honest now” to make a point.  One simply can say “let me be frank” or “can I be more candid” if you need to drive home a point.  But to use the ‘honesty line’ on a regular basis implies that you tend to ‘flub’ a lot, exaggerate to make you seem more than you are, or simply being dishonest most of the time.

I understand that there are some good and honest people who tend to use this line from time to time.  I hope they can at least be aware that they do not need to ever use that qualifier to have a real conversation.

If you are real, you are real.  No need to explain yourself.  Just talk honestly all the time and you won’t feel like you need to use a phrase that is inherently dishonest.

I hope I was candid with you!

Categories: Ethics

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