Humor

Why is it that…

woman-in-white-shirt-scratching-headWhy is it that:

  • When we get hit in the head with something hard, it just hurts and we say ouch. Yet when we squarely stub our toe on the coffee table, we scream like a baby and jump up and down doing the Indian rain dance?
  • Being tan is out and being natural tones are in, except when you go to Aruba and come home to show everyone you went to Aruba?
  • We have become the Dis-United States of America?  We are angry, hateful, suspicious of others, intolerant, and lost most of our class.
  • We hear someone say that we should have a ‘registry on all Moslems’ and the country does not get outraged?  Hey Jews out their, sound familiar?  You should be making the biggest protests of all, yet you are silent.  Just shameful.
  • We lost the art of business ethics and instead we have a become a nation of people being in their own cocoons and using the shield of their smartphones to protect them from real confrontation or to spew hatred?
  • We have great organizations trying to help the needy, the helpless, the poor and the displaced, yet their impact largely goes unnoticed because our society doesn’t really care about them.  As long as we are rich and fat Americans, we have more important things to worry about like shopping, getting our nails done just to walk outside, putting too much competitive importance on our kids, and making sure the Venti extra light dark roast coffee with 2.5 packets of raw sugar with 1/3 ice at Starbucks are sometimes our most pressing issues of the day?
  • When it rains, we are upset, but when it doesn’t rain, we get freaking scared shit!
  • We enjoy the postman delivering our mail, yet only if there is a check and not a bill!  How do we know what they have in store for us that day?  I say ambivalence is the best course of action.
  • Religious institutions can give people peace, warmth and hope; yet at the same time create divisions among different beliefs, the most egregious wars in our civilization, more deaths than any plague could ever inflict upon us, and the most destructive force to harmony among all people of the world?
  • When you swerve out of your lane on the interstate highway, you simply made an innocent boo boo.  But when someone else does it to you, they are the biggest assholes in the world?  Did you ever think that you are the asshole in general and the other person is an off duty paramedic altruistically driving to a patient in need?  Could that ever be, or are you the only righteous one on the road all the time?
  • Why is it that we do not bend down for pennies anymore?  I think the new bar for the ‘bend over’ is a quarter and up.  Inflation?
  • We see psychologists to help us with our issues, yet we are shocked to see a psychologist being treated by another psychologist?
  • Why is it that judges seem pompous due to a black robe made of a cheap poorly fitting vinyl shmata?  I think that looks silly.  They should where a British wig to create a level of nostalgia amongst all they gives orders to and take the tension out of those proceedings.  At least we can all laugh watching them preside over a matrimonial or slip-and-fall case!
  • Cable TV is great and network TV sucks?
  • That we need to be told watching an NFL game that someone is down and hurt on the field when the camera is showing him 2 feet away rolling in pain.  Hey TV booth, we can see it.  It’s not radio!
  • That people sitting in First class on a short domestic flight feel they are superior than everyone else.  All it means is that they fly a lot and the airline gave them a seat 4 inches wider and a drink in a glass rather than in a plastic cup.  Boy you are living it up now!  When you get off the plane, the guy in First Class will get in his yellow cab to the suburbs and the family of four in coach will have their driver waiting for them in a Mercedes 500.
  • That Apricots are delicious yet they don’t get the attention they deserve?  Are you telling me a Cantaloupe taste better?
  • That it is a big mistake to order a pastrami on rye at a kosher delicatessen and forget to take a toothpick?  You know your tongue will get a 3 hour workout trying to get one or two strands of pastrami meat lodged between your back teeth.  Bad preparation.
  • We have painted a broad brush on ethnic groups whereby only a small slice of them have caused us great harm?  Isn’t that the most un-American thing to do?  We are supposed to welcome all to this country,  There has never been a litmus test. If there were, there would never been any Asians, Irish, Jews and most others in this country.  We are inherently a nation of immigrants.  When did this American steadfast philosophy stop?  Does Nazi German, the Bolsheviks, and ISIS teach us something about intolerance of all?

Just why is it?

Categories: Humor, Social Musings

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